- sTePH -’s Journal

It’s been two years since I first came to Singapore and although it’s full of ups and downs, overall it was a memorable part of my life. And tonight will be my last night in Singapore.

It was a hard decision to make and for some of my friends I’ll admit that it is quite surprising. I’ve been thinking of this decision in the last few months mainly due to the deteriorating health of my grandmother. Sadly, despite my decision, it was too late and she has passed away middle of this month.

I also feels that the life in Singapore is very demanding be it physically, mentally, and the foremost, financially. Well, it is indeed caused by chain of events and my decision by late of last year to move out to a new place is indeed a wrong one but I’m not pointing finger here. There’s a positive side in everything and I think overall I’m quite satisfied.

I’d like to personally thank my friends here especially some new friends that I just met in my last few days. You have made these last few days very memorable. I have even considered to somehow find a new job here but then I realized that it’s time for me to move on and I’m not going somewhere too far away anyway. I might still be able to visit Singapore once a month.

Now the question that most of my friends asked me is "what are you going to do now?". Well, I’ve been thinking about it and I think my dad’s offer to start up a new business is quite a sound plan. After all, I have no working experience in fields that I am interested in and I have no interest those fields that I have been working in. There are several options available for me now and I’ll consider it in the next few days. September will be quite a busy month to start a new life.

Truly, I can’t wait to see the challenges ahead…

I’ve left Changi Airport a 3 AM in the morning and it’s not the most pleasant journey I’ve ever had. I sat in an economy class on a journey to Nairobi, Kenya which will have one stop at Dubai for a 4 hour transit.

Emirates is quite a comfortable airlines with personal entertainment device attached to all seats. But since I’m too sleepy to watch movie, I just sleep right after I finish my first meal in the plane.

Worse still, when i woke up i can’t manage to find the jack to plug the headphone so I was left with an only option to use the device just for browsing for information (no internet connection was given).

The seat is quite "ok" although a little bit small. I have no comment on the meal. The first meal was sandwich with ham. Average taste. They gave an option for the second meal between cheese omelette or hokkien noodle. I opt for the latter and regret later. The taste is nowhere near the hokkien noodle I’ve ever eaten in my whole life. However, they also give a croissant, a bun, and a muffin aside from the desert so it’s quite a big breakfast.

Only after the sun rose I managed to find the jack for the headphone and I watched a little bit of Kung Fu Panda. When the plane start to descent I’ve had a terrible headache probably due to the change in pressure. For a while i thought my head would burst.

Anyway, Dubai Airport is quite impressive although not as I’ve imagined. One thing is that this airport is so crowded with people laying on the floor sleeping to wait for their transit plane. But the scenery is quite beautiful with arabic style pictures, and palm tree. Uiquely though, i’ve found something that resembles a UFO with blinking light which completely doesn’t match the overall theme of the airport. Not sure what these Dubai people are thinking when they are building the airport.

One thing I’m impressed with the airport is that they are built in the middle of the city. All other airport I’ve been to so far was built somewhere in the outskirt.

Luckily they have wireless here so I can post something in the blog. The connection speed thoughis about the same as the other airport wireless connection so I can’t expect much.

Hopefully there will be some internet access in Kenya so I can post more pictures. I’m out for hunting more pictures now.

Public has start to expressed concern of the return of defensive football especially in Europe after the most recent 2 major tournaments of Euro 2004 and World Cup 2006. In Euro 2004 Greece won it while virtually "lucked out" every single matches and Italy won the World Cup being almost eliminated at the group stage and won it only through penalty shootout.

Euro 2008 is not better. While writing this, I’m in the middle of extra time between Spain and Italy which is the 4th quarter final of the tournament and yet the 3rd with extra time. All three of them has finished 90 minutes without goal. And ironically, this is just the 6th extra time in quarter final in Euro cup history.

What that means for me is the return of the defensive football of 70’s and 80’s era. But this time it was without the help of Catenaccio or anti-football which has been virtually exterminated in the 90’s. Rather it’s the return of referee mafia ‘ala Italia’ .

There have been a lot of referee mistakes in the tournament so far. Some of them are ridiculous and yet match-deciding. Michael Ballack’s goal against Portugal should’ve been disallowed for foul. He clearly pushed Perreira in the penalty box. Kolodin should’ve been sent out in the match against Netherland as well.

Sadly, Netherland and Portugal, the two most attacking team has been eliminated. Will Spain be the third? I don’t know. The match is still on but if they do eliminated, I might entirely lost taste of this ridiculous tournament.

A man was walking down the shore when he saw a boy picking up something from the sand and throw it to the ocean. As he gets closer, he noticed that the young boy is picking up the starfish. He walks closer and ask the boy "What are you doing?"

The boy said to him "You see, the coastline has recede and these poor starfishes was washed ashore by the wave and get stuck in the sands. If i don’t pick them, they will die soon.

The man laugh and says "But there are so many of them. You can’t possibly save them all. Will it make any difference?"

They boy just silent as though ignoring the man, pick up another starfish and throw it to the sea. He look to the man and smiles, "Well, for that one, I made a difference"

This story is the main theme of last week’s service. I’ve been repeating this story in my mind since then. Most of the time, Christians are concerned whether or not they can make a considerable impact. Well, it’s true that some people are chosen by Him to spark great revivals and transformation. But that doesn’t mean that God will only work through these main channels and the rest could just stay as obedient listeners.

You might think that you can’t do much. You might not a preacher who preach in front of 10,000 audiences. You might not a revivalist who bring one nation to a revival. Or you might not be an apostle who heal the sicks just by passing next to them.

But does it take much to speak kind words to others? Does it hurt to smile to a stranger? How difficult is it to forgive people who cut your queue?

Yes, it might not sound important to you but it might be important to another people. I just arrived in my house from a long journey in a taxi. Since the journey is lengthened by the traffic jam, we talked a lot and he told me some inspiring stories about living as a taxi driver.

That reminds me of one day when my lady boss mentioned to me that she just scolds one taxi driver off. Actually it was a simple matter. In Singapore, since the roads are interconnected to each other, it is common for the taxi driver to ask for direction from the passenger. The intention is clear. There are many ways and in certain circumstances, you will reach your destination faster if you go the longer way (due to jam, etc). However, she’s not happy and start scolding the taxi driver. The taxi driver got fed up and asked her to get off immediately. She just doesn’t get off without throwing up some rude words.

On another day, my boss’ brother was very angry to the china lady who pick up the phone in our office. It is because there is a supplier who look for me and she mistakenly transfer the call to him. Actually it’s not really a mistake since my name "Stephen" and his name "Steven" does sound the same in the telephone. Some of my supplier even thought that my name is "Steven". In fact there are a lot of times she mistakenly transfer a call to me while it was not supposed to be my call. Every single time i was only smiling and saying that he or she is looking for another person. That was just the first time she mistakenly transfer my call to this man and he made a lot of fuss of it.

Is it really difficult to speak a kind word? I don’t see there’s a point in speaking rudely to others. I tried fake my anger before and what happened was after I spoke harshly, I get really pissed off although I actually was not. In another word, it makes you angrier, it spoils other people’s day, it makes you thirsty, it’s a waste of your energy, and a waste of time (since talking harshly takes more time).

What more unbearable is when a Christian do that. Christian literally means to be like Christ and Christ would never do that. By treating others badly and claiming oneself as Christian, one has spoiled the image of Christ. I would really suggest the religion name to be changed to something else but Christian. Because not all Christian are a real Christian. A Christian is supposed to behave better. It is a shame if a Christian live like other non-believer. And if they behave worse, it’s a disgrace.

If you haven’t live a truly Christian life, you can try it. I’m still learning and I won’t say that I have reach the perfection because nothing is perfect in this world. Just try those simple things. Smile, talk nicely, and behave politely. It might not make any difference for you. In your eyes, it might not make any difference in another people’s life as well. But you’ll never know who is going to fall in love to your smile.

To that one little star, you might have made a big difference..

2007 season certainly feels different perhaps to majority of F1 fans but especially for me. My lifelong idol Michael Schumacher will not appear anymore this year. I’ve been watching him since my first race more than 10 years ago. It sure feels different when you watch something while your only reason to watch is no longer there.

It reminds me of my brief period of watching basketball. I used to watch Chicago Bulls just because of Michael Jordan and when he announced his retirement, I’ve decided to quit watching basketball altogether. I have never watch a full NBA match ever since and I’ve only watched less than 5 games in the past 8 years or so.

So why should I watch F1 this season? I personally think that F1 as a "pure" race is a no-fun. F1 needs a strong character that doesn’t only know how to win the title, but also has this persona around him off the track. Michael was able to do that. In his early years, he caught the spotlight by beating then legend Ayrton Senna before a tragic accident took away his life in Imola 1994. He then created controversies with accidents involving Damon Hill in 1994 and 1995, and Jacques Villenueve in 1997. His move to Ferrari sparked the issue of how much he actually earns in a year. The Ferrari team revolves around him and created the controversial "team order" in late 1990’s and early 2000’s.

Kimi Raikkonen although talented has no such persona. He’s a pure race driver. Felipe Massa as well. On the other team, Fernando Alonso is the reigning champion but he created only a handful of buzzes off the track with his move to McLaren. Lewis Hamilton is a rookie. And all other teams are purely "decorations". Renault did bring Heikki Kovlainen but since Alonso’s move I had predicted that it’s the end for Renault’s hegemony.

First race was impressive for Ferrari and I had slight hope that it would be a successful season. However, the following races has never been a good one. They did win occasionally but seeing the young Briton Hamilton finishing in podium in almost every races always frustrated me out.

On the other hand, at times when Hamilton or Alonso won the race, the Ferraris are either DNF or finished out of podium. Mathematically the two Ferrari are still on the race but I realized that the chance has gone.

Things starts to get better when McLaren was penalized with all of their constructor’s championship point for spying on Ferrari car. I did hope that the two McLaren’s driver would be stripped out of their championship points as well but that never happens.

Just before the Chinese grand prix I told myself that although it is still "mathematically possible", I have to realize the situation and stop asking for the impossible. Hamilton will win the title as the first rookie world champion and the youngest ever. He would also be the first British champion in 15 years.

Kimi won the race and although Felipe’s chance has been blown, it creates chance for Fernando to battle his team mate up to the last race. It was still nearly impossible for Kimi to win the championship. And honestly I still thought that Hamilton will win. Even Ferrari president Luca di Montezemolo made a remark that "Hamilton should thank Ferrari technology when he lift up the championship trophy at the end of the season". He clearly made a sarcastic remark regarding the spy case.

I couldn’t watch the last race because of the time difference between Brazil and Singapore would’ve put me in a midnight race which is not good since I have to work on Monday. I turned on my computer the whole night and the next morning, I almost forgotten that the final race of the season has finished. After all it was not a very impressive season for me.

When I open the F1Racing.net, the text loads up first and I saw…

"KIMI ICES MCLAREN TO STEAL DRIVER’S TITLE"

And I was like "Hell no!!"

I read the news carefully line by line some of them repeated to get the better picture of how the race goes on. All in all, it was a miraculous win. The whole season is a big turnover. It only loses to Manchester United’s 2-1 comeback at 1999 Champions Cup Final against Bayern Munich mostly because that match was held in a 90 minutes game while F1 season is a long 8 months races.

Is the win important for Ferrari? The answer is yes. After all, they proved that they are still the team to beat even without Michael. When McLaren loses Mika, they lost almost all of their competitive power. They have never won the title ever since although they had drivers such as David Coulthard, Kimi, Juan Pablo Montoya, and the latest, Fernando Alonso and Lewis Hamilton. Renault was a great time when Fernando was around but after that, they can barely compete for points.

Now the latest issue is whether Fernando will stay with McLaren next year. I could roughly guess why he would not like to stay. Fernando is a driver who since the beginning of his career, used to be the number one wherever he is. In Minardi, he was the precious "Renault’s boy" that was borrowed for experience and he clearly outdo his teammate Tarso Marquez. In Renault, although he has an experienced teammate in Giancarlo Fisichella, everyone knows that Giancarlo doesn’t have the cut to be world champion. He is a decent driver, yes. But world champion? He’s just not destined to be one.

But in McLaren, he faces a competition from a rookie. Lewis Hamilton was seeded by Ron Dennis since his early age and it is clear that Dennis favors him a lot. Furthermore, he is competitive. He doesn’t hesitate to compete head to head with two time world champion. And the fact that he’s losing to a rookie does hurt Fernando’s pride although he might not show it.

Kimi on the other hand, has a very different situation in his career. He started off in Sauber F1 Team knowing that underachievement would cost him his super license. He is placed in equal place with his then teammate Nick Heidfeld. However, I guess that he should’ve been placed slightly lower. In 2002, Nick Heidfeld in Sauber had the same position as Fernando in Minardi. If Fernando is Renault’s seed, Nick was Mercedes’. However, he proved to be a worthy contender although he still loses out point wise. It was enough to attract McLaren to snatch him for the following year though.

McLaren is a very fair team. There is no word for team order in McLaren and he is placed equally with Coulthard. After Coulthard retirement, he was brought with an equal pair in Juan Pablo Montoya. And in Ferrari, he found that Massa is more than just a "Barichello for Schumacher". Kimi used to be in a competitive position with his teammate but Fernando doesn’t.

Will Fernando left McLaren? Theoritically yes. But the question is not "why?" but "where to?". Will he lick his spit and back to Renault? I doubt so. After all, Renault doesn’t show any competitiveness this season and I doubt they will next season. Ferrari was the only option since Massa’s contract would expire by end of this season but before the season finale, it was announced that he will be retained until at least 2010.

And after watching Ferrari for more than 10 years, I know that Ferrari is the type of team that is loyal to their driver. All those seasons and I only know 5 drivers (put aside Mika Salo who was Michael’s temporary replacement in 1999 after he broke his leg) driving the scarlet.

Behind these three teams there are BMW and Honda. The former is known for its preference for Germans driver. Currently they have Heidfeld and Kubica but Sebastian Vettel is coming up. The latter doesn’t favor Japanese driver but they looked happy with their current line up. Besides, these two teams don’t look like they are going to make a giant leap next season despite all the money behind their back.

What about a sabbatical? It is likely but it wouldn’t do him any good. A sabbatical year would make one’s skill dull and his fitness would be sacrificed as well. Besides, by the start of 2009 season, the seat in Ferrari would still be occupied. I have good hope that the new team Prodrive would be competitive but perhaps only at the stage of BMW and Honda.

His decision will be made public within the next two weeks. Whatever his decision may be, it might not be a good one. Staying in McLaren would means that he would have to get used to be rammed by the younger Lewis Hamilton (Fernando himself is not old yet). But quitting would be a bad decision as well.

But Fernando, maybe you can ask Juan Pablo how does it feel to race in circle for hundreds of laps? Or perhaps you could go to Honda but take out 2 of their wheels and compete in MotoGP? Who knows you could be the next John Surtees?

Just a two cents from me though…